The Foldinator 5000: Sassy Robotic Laundry Folder with Feelings
Category: Fake
Estimated Price: £19.99
The Foldinator 5000 is the world's first laundry robot with both folding skills and a passive-aggressive personality. Tired of piling clean clothes on “the chair”? Enter: your new domestic ally — equal parts sass, smarts, and general disappointment in your lifestyle.
It neatly folds t-shirts, jeans, towels, and even that one top you haven’t worn since 2016. But when it comes to fitted sheets? It simply sets them on fire. Because nobody knows how to fold those properly — not even machines.
With multiple folding settings (KonMari Precision, Rage Fold, and ‘That’ll Do’ Mode), a built-in speaker that sighs dramatically, and optional Beyoncé folding playlist, The Foldinator turns chore time into showtime. Comes with a sarcasm toggle (but you’ll never turn it off).
- Brand: Domestic Overlords
- Dimensions: Approx. 30cm (W) x 20cm (H) x 40cm (D)
- Materials: ABS plastic housing, metal fold arms, built-in sass unit
- Colour(s): White with glitter grey detailing
- Other Specifications: USB-powered, fits on most laundry tables, speaks 3 languages (English, French, Judgement), includes fold presets and one (1) emergency chocolate compartment
What We Think
We put The Foldinator 5000 through its paces with three laundry baskets and zero motivation. And friends — it delivered. T-shirts were folded to retail display levels of neatness, socks were matched (and applauded), and jeans? Folded so crisply we felt like better people just looking at them.
It muttered “finally” when we powered it up, and sighed when we put in a hoodie with tangled sleeves. Honestly? Same. The fitted sheet burning feature was... a little dramatic, but we respected the commitment to realism. After all, if we’re not pretending laundry doesn't exist, what are we even doing here?
What we really loved was the entertainment factor. The Foldinator doesn’t just fold — it performs. With a little speaker that makes bored noises and sarcastic remarks, folding day is now *fun* (or at least bearable). Bonus: it doesn’t judge your choice to fold laundry at 2am while bingeing period dramas. It just *folds*. Then tells you to get your life together.
What Others Are Saying
💬 "I named mine ‘Karen’ and she hasn’t stopped judging me since. But she folds a mean towel so I’ll allow it." — Rhiannon P.
💬 "It folded my leggings into perfect triangles and made a snarky comment about my ‘athleisure lifestyle’. I feel attacked, but my drawer’s never looked better." — Zoe L.
💬 "When it caught me trying to re-wear a jumper from the floor pile, it made a sound like an old printer dying. I’ve never felt more seen." — Amy C.
💬 "I thought it was a gimmick, but now I genuinely can’t go back to manually folding. I’m weak. The Foldinator is strong." — Tamzin J.
Verdict
The Foldinator 5000 is peak unnecessary luxury — and yet, we’d fight to keep it. It’s clever, cheeky, and surprisingly competent, folding your laundry with the flair and judgement of a sassy friend who’s sick of your nonsense. It won’t do your ironing (yet), but it will absolutely elevate your folding game and your mood. 10/10 for function, 12/10 for dramatic energy.