Mood-Nails 3000: Emotion-Tracking Nail Polish with Built-In Attitude
Category: Fake
Estimated Price: £6.99
Introducing Mood-Nails 3000 — the world’s first emotion-sensing nail polish that tells the world how you’re feeling, so you don’t have to. With our patented MoodMatch™ technology, your nails will shift colour in real time to reflect your vibes, emotional state, or whether you've had enough of Karen from accounts.
Choose from our core mood palette: sage green (calm), blood glitter red (rage), sparkly lavender (flirty), and of course, Passive-Aggressive Beige™. Whether you're giving off soft-girl energy or just trying not to slap someone before lunch, Mood-Nails 3000 has you covered. Literally.
Also includes optional “Warning Flash Mode” when someone’s about to catch these hands.
- Brand: Gloss & Grit
- Dimensions: 8ml glass bottle (approx. 3cm x 7cm)
- Materials: Magical pigment-infused lacquer, synthetic sparkle agents, zero judgement
- Colour(s): Multi-tone: green, red glitter, lavender shimmer, beige matte, and more
- Other Specifications: Changes colour based on temperature and subtle skin conductivity cues; Not safe for vampires or emotionally unavailable people
What We Think
Mood-Nails 3000 is either the pinnacle of beauty innovation or a glittery breakdown waiting to happen — and honestly, we’re here for both. We loved watching our nails turn a brooding grey the second our inbox dinged with “quick favour” emails. And the sparkly lavender when texting our crush? Chef’s kiss.
The polish applies smoothly, dries surprisingly fast (perfect for impatient queens), and the mood changes are delightfully dramatic. One tester reported watching her nails cycle through three colours during a Zoom call. Another claimed her nails turned “existential teal” during brunch with her ex. We didn’t even know that was a thing.
Bonus points for making passive-aggressive gestures *way* more colourful. Is it functional? Maybe not. Is it essential? Absolutely. It’s like therapy, but shinier.
What Others Are Saying
💬 "I wore this to my team meeting and my manager asked if I was 'okay' just based on the nail colour. Best feedback I’ve had in months." — Jessie T.
💬 "It turned angry red before I even knew I was annoyed. Honestly it knows me better than my therapist." — Latoya B.
💬 "Finally, a way to visually express the chaos within. My nails were purple, red, and then beige all in one Tinder date." — Kerry M.
💬 "My nails literally glowed when I blocked my ex. 11/10 would recommend." — Rina G.
Verdict
If you've ever wanted your manicure to scream your feelings before you do — Mood-Nails 3000 is your new bestie. It's playful, extra, and unapologetically dramatic, just like it should be. Not only does it look good, but it doubles as a conversation starter, emotional mirror, and possibly a warning sign. And let's be honest: sometimes it’s just nice to let your hands do the emotional heavy lifting.