Pube Gel
Category: Fake
Estimated Price: £9.99
Ease your fuzz, freshen your fluff, and give your nether regions the spa day they never knew they needed. Introducing Pube Gel — the world’s first (and only) tingle-tastic gel for pubic hair cleansing and revitalisation. Unisex, unapologetic, and unbelievably refreshing, this 8oz bottle of blue magic is infused with gentle botanicals and a cheeky little chill that wakes up your... well, everything. Whether you’ve got a majestic garden, a tidy topiary, or a full-on wild forest, Pube Gel has got you covered (literally). Perfect for those who take self-care seriously, but not too seriously.
Brand: Totally Real Ltd
Dimensions: 8 FL OZ / 237 mL
Materials: Aqua, Sassafras Extract, Menthol, and a Whisper of Regret
Colour(s): Cool Blue
Other Specifications: Vegan-friendly, not tested on animals, safe for external use only (obviously). Tingles on contact. Do not apply to eyebrows, unless you’re very brave.
What We Think
We’ve tested Pube Gel in the most intimate of scenarios — showers, dates, awkward flatmate encounters — and we’re genuinely impressed. It’s fresh, it’s zingy, and it leaves your nether fluff feeling like it just came back from a retreat in the Swiss Alps. Is it necessary? Absolutely not. Is it wonderful? Completely.
What Others Are Saying
“I didn’t know I needed this until I felt the chill. Now I’m a changed person. My partner also noticed. In a good way.” — Dave, 34
“Feels like my bits are chewing mint gum. 10/10.” — Anonymous, thankfully
“Bought this as a gag gift, ended up genuinely loving it. Not sure what that says about me.” — Lisa, 27
Verdict
Pube Gel is the perfect blend of comedy gift and lowkey luxury. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and somehow... it just works. Whether it ends up as a bathroom staple or just makes someone laugh when they unwrap it, it’s worth every confusing penny. Go on, give your bits a treat.