Tears of My Enemies Bath Salts – Soak in Vengeance
Category: Fake
Estimated Price: £5.99
Tears of My Enemies Bath Salts are the perfect antidote to a long day of dealing with people who tested your patience, underestimated your power, or used the phrase “calm down” unironically.
Crafted from ethically harvested imaginary tears, these salts are infused with calming eucalyptus, crushed Himalayan salt, shimmer dust, and just a whisper of poetic justice. Whether you're decompressing from a microaggression or simply celebrating your superiority in a bubble bath, this potion of petty peace is here for you.
Just pour generously into warm running water and imagine the soothing scent wafting up from the crumbled egos of those who dared cross you. Best enjoyed with candles, a locked door, and a playlist titled "Bad Witch Energy."
- Brand: Bath & Beyond Vengeance
- Dimensions: 250g glass jar (approx. 8cm x 10cm)
- Materials: Himalayan pink salt, eucalyptus oil, lavender extract, shimmer mica powder, 0.03% repressed rage
- Colour(s): Soft blush pink with pearlescent shimmer
- Other Specifications: Vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free, emotionally charged. No actual enemies were harmed in the making of this product.
What We Think
We tried these bath salts after a week of passive-aggressive meetings, slow walkers, and someone breathing too loudly in the office. The results? Divine. The salts dissolve easily, the fragrance is a relaxing mix of “spa day” and “sweet revenge,” and the shimmer leaves just the right amount of sparkle on your skin without making you look like a disco ball.
Our favourite part? The label — because nothing says “I’m healing” like soaking in the metaphorical misery of your enemies. Bonus points for the internal monologue it inspires. We spent 30 peaceful minutes in the tub plotting fictional revenge arcs and came out feeling like a new woman with main character energy.
This is the self-care tool you never knew you needed. Highly recommended for anyone who needs a break from being the bigger person.
What Others Are Saying
💬 "My skin? Soft. My mind? Clear. My aura? Vengeful but moisturised." — Danielle P.
💬 "These bath salts are the only therapy I can afford this month and honestly? Worth every imaginary tear." — Leah C.
💬 "I gifted this to my sister after her break-up. She texted me ‘I AM REBORN’ in all caps from the tub." — Sasha M.
💬 "It smells like inner peace and external drama. Absolutely love it." — Kerry-Anne J.
Verdict
So much more than just bath salts, Tears of My Enemies is an emotional release disguised as pampering. Whether you’ve had a tough day or just enjoy the drama of a fictional feud, this product is the ultimate way to recharge. It’s witchy, wonderful, and slightly unhinged — just like all the best people.