ThinkLink – Mind-Activated Access to ChatGPT (Because Typing Is So 2024)
Category: Fake
Estimated Price: £19.99
The future is here and it's plugged directly into your brain. Introducing ThinkLink – the microchip that sits gently behind your left ear and provides uninterrupted, hands-free access to ChatGPT. Got a question? Think it. Need emotional support? Think it harder.
Powered by neural micro-impulse recognition (aka: *vibes*), ThinkLink interprets your thoughts and sends them straight to ChatGPT’s API, returning answers directly into your inner monologue. No typing, no talking, just quiet, internal sass from the cloud-based friend who never logs off.
Includes sarcasm filter, overthinking buffer, and the ability to replay embarrassing conversations in ultra HD clarity.
- Brand: SynapseWare Labs
- Dimensions: 1.2cm x 0.8cm x 0.4cm
- Materials: Biocompatible plastic, titanium connectors, metaphysical guilt
- Colour(s): Thought Grey, Cognitive Copper, Deep Overthink Blue
- Other Specifications:
- Battery-free – powered by sheer panic
- Bluetooth-adjacent (probably)
- Latency: virtually instant, unless you’re tired
- Data limit: 200 questions/day or until your brain melts, whichever comes first
What We Think
Honestly? We didn’t expect to love ThinkLink this much. Within minutes of neural calibration (which is basically thinking really hard while clenching your jaw), we were having fluid mental convos with ChatGPT. It knew what we meant even when we didn’t – like “that thing with the guy and the boat” and “do cats know we name them?”
We especially appreciated the internal feedback system – it gently zaps you when your question is grammatically embarrassing. The sarcasm filter struggled a bit during staff meetings (“Am I *really* the only one working?” led to a confusing TED Talk about productivity guilt), but otherwise it performed beautifully.
One team member now uses it exclusively to settle arguments silently in the pub. Another installed it upside down and now can only access medieval trivia. Still, we’re calling it a win. Stylish, unobtrusive, and perfect for introverts with too many questions and not enough courage to Google them out loud.
What Others Are Saying
💬 “Thought I was just overthinking again. Turns out I was deep in a conversation with ChatGPT about the lifespan of tapirs. Incredible.” – Darren T.
💬 “I asked a question mid-yoga and nearly fell over when it answered in Morgan Freeman’s voice. 10/10 immersive.” – Sophie L.
💬 “Great device, but now I can’t tell which thoughts are mine and which are from the chip. Still better than Twitter.” – Kash M.
💬 “My dog barked and ThinkLink asked, ‘Did you want to know how dogs perceive time?’ Scared me and impressed me in equal measure.” – Rae B.
Verdict
ThinkLink is like if Siri, telepathy, and late-night Wikipedia benders had a lovechild – and then installed it behind your ear. Whether you’re solving debates, writing essays mid-sleep, or just craving a silent voice in your head that knows *way too much* about jellyfish, this is the neural dongle for you.
Side effects may include spontaneous trivia, overconfidence, and the occasional AI-generated pep talk at inconvenient times. Totally worth it.