Cordless Extension Cable – Wireless Power, Eventually
Category: Fake
Estimated Price: £5.99
Say hello to the future of non-electrical innovation with the Cordless Extension Cable from Shockless. No wires. No power. No purpose. Just pure, unadulterated freedom.
Gone are the days of tripping over cords or arguing over socket access. This sleek, ultra-modern accessory offers total wireless energy – as in, it offers no energy at all. Simply plug nothing into nowhere and enjoy the silence of progress.
Perfect for minimalists, pranksters, and people who say “vibes over volts.” Also ideal for passive-aggressively gifting to that one colleague who always steals your charger.
Brand: Shockless
Dimensions: 1.5m of premium air
Materials: Lightweight polymer shell, internal nothingness
Colour(s): White, with hints of futility
Other Specifications:
- 100% wire-free experience
- Unmatched portability
- Completely tangle-free
- Compatible with all imaginary sockets
What We Think
The Cordless Extension Cable might just be our favourite paradox in product form. It’s sleek, stylish, and so incredibly useless that it loops right back around to genius. Whether you’re adding flair to your office setup or confusing your father-in-law who "used to be an electrician," this is a conversation piece worth every empty volt.
We tested it in multiple rooms and, unsurprisingly, achieved absolutely nothing – which is exactly what we hoped for. Zero emissions, zero wattage, and zero regrets. It’s the perfect anti-tech gadget for the modern sarcastic soul.
Pair it with our Diet Water and Dehydrated Water for the ultimate gift set of gloriously pointless practicality. Or just keep it on your desk as a silent protest against capitalism. Either way, it sparks joy. Just not electricity.
What Others Are Saying
💬 "Plugged it in and waited three hours. Nothing happened. Best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages." – Tom, Manchester
💬 "Bought this for my techy partner. He was confused, then amused, then oddly impressed. It’s now framed on the wall." – Jess, Brighton
💬 "I use it to explain quantum physics to my students. It does nothing, but the concept is electrifying." – Dr. Ian, Edinburgh
💬 "Genuinely tried to return it before realising the joke. Now I’m buying five more for Christmas." – Lisa, Birmingham
Verdict
Shockless has achieved the impossible: a product that proudly does absolutely nothing, and yet somehow does everything we need it to. The Cordless Extension Cable is a masterclass in design minimalism and comedic genius. It’s utterly useless and completely brilliant—just like your mate Dave who thinks he’s an inventor. Highly recommended for laughs, confusion, and as a reminder to never take life (or power cords) too seriously.